‘Which came first? The chicken, or the egg?’ A question so fundamental; and yet, how many times have you heard this query and wondered to yourself, just how is it that life begins? How intrinsically do we come to know who we are?

Tonight, I invite to you join me in continuing to venture into the life of Don Juan de Marco, and in sojourning, to challenge yourself to employ the same degree strength and valor he embodies in defending the importance of carefully clarifying and understanding notions pertaining to existence and self-acknowledgement which serve as a basis for defining personal life experience.

If you have started to ask yourself why it is that I am speaking of "Don Juan" as a living "real" being, that is; as opposed to a film character who portrays the life of a Schizophrenic patient, then you are well on the road to considering the first part of the chicken/egg question we will address tonight; the possibility that we behold the "truth" of who we are and how we define our World, completely, as it lies within the scope of our own eyes. Our eyes, which view and conceptualize our World, become, in combination with our minds, the processors of our world. From this point of view, perceptions, be they experienced as seemingly scientific and objective, or personal and non-empirical-, are all, products of our individual minds, and hence, understood as entirely subjective. Any thought to which we give meaning, we can give "true" life, and there are no limitations or judgements as to the direction an individual's thought processes may take.

To fully understand the nature of this idea, one might consider taking Shakespeare's notion, that we as people might be construed as actors--artforms, whose lives are a creative work developed to express and distinguish ourselves on life's stage. One might then expand on this, by considering that the play of our lives, while closely and uniquely scripted, is much less readily comprehendible than the one in the theatre. For while a person may be able to know his/her experience and emotions with a deeply genuine flavor, he/she may not necessarily be aware of how it is that his script flows, or why it is that the tale of his/her life plays out as it does.

The method via which one then comes to know him/herself, thus is an endless mindgame, and each individual comes to link together the discrete aspects of him/herself so as to develop him/herself into an integrated whole. As noted in the early work of Freud, it is the individual then, who is the arbiter of his/her reality, and the way he/she interprets both internal and external aspects of him/herself is determined from within such that his/her understanding of what is real and what is fantasy is entirely enmeshed into one arbitrary, yet highly specific and continually rotating sphere called "me." On the one hand the individual may find him/herself well-tuned into who this "me" is and who the "me" is not. On the other, he/she not consciously knowing what the next rotation in his private universe will bring, lives with excitement of enjoying and/or surviving what at times is a highly mysterious and discontinuous experience of him/herself. The concept of life as a stage now becomes multidimensional such that there is no separation between actor and play, no way to know whether it is the actor defining the play, or the play defining the actor; there is no differentiation between what is fantasy and what is reality. In attempting to handle this life's rollercoaster, novelist Miguel Cervantes wrote that one must not be jealous of the method in which varying aspects of him/herself may unknowingly manifest in continuous living motion. He/she must allow and accept him/herself in entirety. When this is not the case, conflict arises.

Phenomenologically, one might then consider the phrase "the truth lies in the eye of the beholder" to mean that one's eye, e-y-e, is equivalent to one’s "I" as in "I am," and the phrase "lies in the e-y-e/l," would refer to the paradoxical nature of the existence of each individual. Both the seemingly objective standards as defined by the eye, e-y-e, in the "real- world," and the qualities of the "I am," or the so called "inner world" would be construed as indistinguishable and can not be separated into the "real external" and "unreal internal," but rather, all experiences as defined by our mind’s eye/I are products of one mind. When what meets with the eye, e-y-e, does not meet with the "I" in "I am," the individual perceiver finds him/herself at war. It is this issue which I (that’s both with my e-y-e-s and my "I am") believe Don Juan helps us to know and explore so beautifully.

From the very beginning of his abridged life story, Don Juan begins to tell us of his personal battle. His self-conceptualization is fraught with questions about what I am going to call his "mother earth;" or private universe, which he defines through the sensuality and power of what his "eye/I" sees as "woman." All that he is, and all that he is not, depends on his belief in the integrity of this self-composed sanctuary--a vision of himself as created and supported via this sole/soul "Mother's love." The degree of commitment involved in preserving the heavenly qualities of what love of Mother means within this context is so intense, that should he fail in upholding ‘her’ honor, he will inevitably self-destruct. It is thus at a point of great desperation related to maintaining the sanctity of his inner promise to defend ‘her,’ that Don Juan finds he is forced to call dramatic attention to the issue of what constitutes true meaning in his life.

Let us now follow his route toward finding an answer....

Tonight’s Top News Story: First on our news tonight is a most intriguing story of a 21 year-old masked man who now stands a ready to die at the foot of a billboard which reads "Unmask the Mysterious"- Beach of the Canary Islands. He tells the police he is Don Juan de Marco and must die if he can not engage in a swordfight to avenge the death of his father. It is said that before he made the decision to die, he shared one extremely enlivening sexual experience with a "last conquest" at, the Hotel SeviIla ... the moments of sexual pleasure shared were said to be so powerful, that the Hotel rang with screams of orgasm which resounded in the song "a single perfect note from the heart..." It is indeed a mystery us in the newsroom that in one evening, the same man who treated a woman as a flower, gave her a new ecstasy; sings now such a sorrowful melody. The police are mustering to find a way to save him, but Don Juan says if there is no swordfight, there is no chance. We will continue to update you as we get more details of this most harrowing story.

It is our understanding that at the Woodhaven-Hospital, a man named Dr. Jack Mickler is also about to die. He is about to be sacrificed because, he, who lived a long history as one of the "best clinicians" the hospital ever had, also has made a suicidal gesture. They say he "burned out," and now feels he must take an early retirement preparing himself to "climb the pyramids." His wife and colleagues agree with his decision, and say he needs to get away from this loony bin which can frazzle even the most sophisticated psychiatrist. We interviewed Mickler this morning though, and were intrigued to find out, he is not as happy with his impeding fate as he hoped he would be. In fact, he says his "decision" is killing him. Life with his wife he notes, has become so routine for so many years that he can not focus--not even on love! He told us of a recent conversation he had with his wife: "I said to her I was tired of the momentum of mediocrity, that celestial fires need to be lit, she said, ‘fires are trouble, they flare-up, have energy and die.’ She prefers life to be warm and secure. I think that bringing my life back through the love I have for this woman might be my only chance, but I'm not sure there's time." As our interview ended, Dr. Jack Mickler told us that going off to the pyramids hardly felt like an ascent into the Golden Years, but rather like the fall of his great empire. We in the newsroom were deeply saddened as we left, but as we parted company he did whisper that perhaps he was planning one last conquest....

We will update you with further details.

In closing tonight's story, our editor wishes to make the comment that she was struck by how the two seemingly different men portrayed in our broadcast both seem so much alike in their need to find a partner to help them meet their ultimate challenge; that is, to save their lives!! Could not these two men, one at the beginning of his adulthood, and one nearing retirement, somehow come together to rejuvenate each other so that both will have one long lifetime? Our editor finalizes her broadcast with the comment that if Don Juan and Dr. Mickler would only re-arrange their cards differently, they would come out with a better hand, and maybe lend one to each other...

Scene; Woodhaven Hospital (read with sarcasm): There sits Bill, the young physician. Perched so dutifully with his dapper suit and his forced grin. He is trying so hard to present himself as the all knowing "candid camera" of the lives of his psychotic patients, who are very sick, and in desperate need of his services. For he has an advanced degree, and is a master of what ails the soul. It is his mission and responsiblity to take on the conquest of curing his patients of their woes, ridding them of the crazy voices-in their heads, and cleansing them. And, to carry out this task he has special medications which will help their bodies to gain a better chemical balance. He has a most difficult job, and feels very proud of his devotion to dealing with this most trouble group of people.

He is a little embarrassed however, as he relates to our reporter the bemusing tale of trying to work with the new patient he was assigned. The boy, he said, was obviously extremely sexually preoccupied and seemed to think he was some kind of Spanish Hero. According to Bill, the worst part of trying to deal with this boy was attempting to combat his lack of knowledge of reality. This Paranoid Schizophrenic, thought the Hospital was a "VILLA," and when the physician tried to correct his pronunciation to "VIL-LA," and then re-direct him to "place" by teaching him that Woodhaven is a hospital, the boy loudly protested. Instead, the patient was said to inappropriately demand the word be enunciated "VILLA," and stated openly that he had no interest in Bill's reality! Furthermore, Bill notes the patient kept insisting that Staff Psychiatrist Dr. Mickler was the Fictional Character ‘Don Octavio de Flores.’ When the physician tried to orient the boy to "person" by asking the boy why he thought of the Dr. in that way, the patient again had the nerve to challenge him. Bill, the erudite physician. As though he, a trained professional., does not know what is real and what is not. How ridiculous!!

As Bill sits with our reporter continuing to discuss with her the merits of the great new techniques he will use to cure this sick boy, something rather intriguing happens; Dr. Jack Mickler, the physician we recently interviewed, gets rather heated. All of sudden, he comes to life! He then starts to tell Bill, that the patient is not a "this boy" but a man "Don Juan de Marco." Dr. Mickler then says that the cost of the tab that's run-up when getting treated by "this Bill" (pointing at Bill), would be so extravagant, that any person whether in his "right" or "wrong" mind who is subjected to it, would come to do a flamenco dance on his doctor's head! All in a, days' work!

Mickler discovered this truth last night, when in a NEWSFLASH, he heard about our harrowing story of Don Juan from the police. He told one of our reporters on the scene, well if you wish to unmask the mysterious qualities of a person, you must allow yourself to travel to the "Canary islands;" said something about this is how Freud might have started, and at the end of his conversation with Don Juan who he met at the top of the billboard, he said he found Out that the mind is the sole place in which a man can deal with his soul, the only place to duel with what ails us. For as he begins to talk with Don Juan, Dr. Jack Mickler finds that his eye for medicine does not match with his "I" in terms of the man that he is. It is then that he, previously a Jack of Spades ready to die, becomes a living, feeling Jack of Hearts begging to be allowed to live.

Alongside the World's Greatest Lover Don Juan, Dr. Jack Mickler is able to serve as his contemporary Don Octavio De Flores ... not a first choice swordsman, but rather, the kind of guy that one might travel with when he has no other alternative; He certainly can not leave him to deal with Bill, the Ace of Spades. In the same tradition that Sancho Panza joined with Don Quixote in Miguel Cervantes’ great novel, Dr. Jack Mickler- will team-up with Don Juan for an introduction to his country. It is only with Don Juan, he too learns that a life that begins with a woman, without her- would surely end.

Together, they agree to complete a great mission. In dealing with the challenge of the 10 Day Paper, they will set a therapeutic stage to answer life’s fundamental questions regarding the sanctity and spirit of the meaning of True Love. The ultimate success or failure of their endeavor--a matter of life or death.

In this unfolding, the deck of cards is again shuffled. The two companions are now so involved in like-minded understanding, that one can no longer tell- with whose psyche we are dealings Who is the patient and who is the shrink? This is first seen through the eye/I of Don Juan when he says to his partner: "I see beyond the ‘eye’--see people for who they truly are am not limited by my eyesight. I search for beauty within them…people then release it and can be acknowledged ...You (to Dr. Mickler), may have lost your way and your accent." It might be considered here, that Don Juan's ability to see truth through his "eye/I," serves as a representation of a simultaneous experience shared by both he and Dr. Mickler as they continue to submerge into their work. The deeper their quest toward finding love in their own truths, the less either is able to deny the underlying existence of an ongoing integration of the seemingly discrete aspects of their individual lives. This sequential process, eventually results in their recognition of a unique sense of "oneness"; a gestalt which has allowed each (i.e., within the context of one mind) to become more of a whole-man.

Both Don Juan and Dr. Mickler, next begin to take a careful look at their internal world. Each serves as a blood transfusion to make the other face what a life struggle he feels inside. Here they are one man. Integrated sides of each other, they are dependent on this transfer as their "blood has turned to dust and clogged the life line to their hearts." Flaws in the loves of their lives, have continued to choke them, and do so until both allow themselves to act as mutually responding respirators ... and can be set free. A ‘breadthe’ of work in progress, Dr. Jack Mickler re-considers his hand. He has been so selfish in the pursuit of his own greatness, that he has forgotten about the woman with whom he started life, the wife who has stood by his side waiting to discover hers. It is only when he finds the courage to return to her, that he can go out with ‘Haley’s Comet.’

His courageous partner Don Juan, well he too must go back to his-origins, the first woman of his 1ife--he must deal with the pain he has over his mother. For in being the one who loved her most of all, her greatest lover, he was able to make a noblewoman, out of what he also experienced to be a struggling, adultering, deserting mother, who could not deal with the life of ‘Queens.’ Son and Mother, together of one mind, had to move to Mexico, where their tales of woe could be understood as a great novel of romance. Son loving mother, adultering, murderous, guilty son and mother, are not sinners in the land of Mexico. Rather, it is only through the creation of this "other," foreign place, that what makes city life so ugly can be annulled and re-conceived as beautiful. As Mother Mary and Son who adores her most of all, Don Juan de Marco experiences his truth as a blend. A Mother/Son’s universe entirely composed of one bond of shared innocence.

Both Dr. Mickler and Don Juan then, must remove their masks of shame, look each other in the eye and realize how their deep desires for true love within themselves lead them to feel shame and sorrow. They come to know that the truth can only come to be discovered from inside, and are freed from their petition. A judgement is ultimately made; it is only "normal" to feel crazy when your entire world is at stake. Dr. is then able to tell his patient, and patient Dr., that if your truth remains inside you, and you know who are, there is nothing that can take that away.

All of one mind, women and men can now go to the island of Eros. And, albeit it is an island, the return to one's own soul, a place of deep, sensual life where the benefits of finding truth are discovered, marks the start of a journey on which none can possibly feel lonely. All are able to be re-born and start anew.

A flight like eagles ... a hope is discovered which they thought could never be asked for! That is, the knowledge that what comes first, must be the loving quest to find the truth of who you are in your dreams!!

That is the End of World News for Tonight....